The Ill-Serving Author, The Ill-Served Text

With Monty stuck in the phantom zone, I'm plugging Lucid into Grammarly.  

Ho.

Ly.

Shit.

So many grammatical atrocities were committed...Looking at the text, it reminds me of religious tracts where fairly 40% of the words are in all caps and bold to boot.  You see that you know the author is off their nutter.  You try and read Lucid I don't know what you think.

After only several years post-'locking down' the text, I did finally yoink out the original last paragraph of the all important first chapter.  

Below are versions 1.0, 2.0, and 3.0.  

There are no other references to Alice's Adventures In Wonderland in the novel, but for years I thought using the Cheshire Cat was a terrific out from Lucy's Hollywood-heavy visit to see her actress sis get hitched.  

I was hard-headed about not tossing in a Carroll book title, just getting along by mentioning the kitty and then referencing the work(s) nonspecifically.

I'm almost at the point where when it comes to writing my ego is all but shed for the good of story.  

Almost.

  

1.0

When I went to bed, Dad was still pacing the house.  I was exhausted.  I slept easily and woke with a vague remembrance of Queen Latifah’s smile winking in and out of existence in my dreams like the Cheshire Cat’s in Alice’s trip through Wonderland.

2.0

When I went to bed, Dad was still pacing the house.  I was exhausted.  I slept easily and woke with a vague remembrance of Queen Latifah’s smile winking in and out of existence in my dreams like the Cheshire Cat’s.

3.0

When I went to bed, Dad was still pacing the house.  I was exhausted. 

I dreamed of the wedding, the exchanging of vows.  As Maddy talked, the words ran together until it was gibberish.  The gibberish turned into a call and response with the guests, and the guests began to glow the same blue as the 'L' pendants around some of the necks.  And then it was all the necks.  Even Dad wore a glowing 'L.' 

Soon the blue obscured everything except Maddy's face, and then even that began to disappear, feature by feature like she was the Cheshire Cat, vanishing from view. 

Her mouth was the last object to go, and then the chanting stopped, and then there was nothing but blue.