"Do you remember Humpsweet?"

For you the name Humpsweet might trigger a long dormant set of taste buds.  Like it was a brand name.  An entire family of products.  Sausage links and patties, sausage crumbles, skillets, stuffed hash browns, and bacon, and bacon and maple stuffed breakfast sandwiches with deep fried cinnamon waffles serving as the toast.  And in your sophomore year of college you not only gave up the familiar Humpsweet line of frozen delicacies but all sources of meat at the behest of a girl of the hippie persuasion, a 'veg' as your dad would say, or, "Hey, hear you went veg to score yourself some vag," as your roommate so eloquently colored the picture.  

And you stayed true, no meat at all for maybe six weeks, until Thanksgiving vacation, and although you promised Ronnie you wouldn't roll back to those old destructive eating habits, first meal, on your own, off her leash, you didn't put up a fight.  The day before turkey day, Mom set the ham down on the dinner table and the promise to the girl with the best knockers you were ever going to touch this lifetime was instantly annihilated.  After you broke up (she could smell the fucking meat in your semen, Mr. Oops), you tried to buck up, ticking off the stats, the sheer dearth of females in the student body and the fact that to that date in time, in your near 20 years of life, although you did look just a little too much like the guy that played Gilligan, boom, you'd already slept with 11 girls (including Ronnie, the veg, the hippie, the owner of considerable armpit hair, fuck her and the vegan dick she rode in on).  

So yeah, you might think Humpsweet references an industry standard, a purveyor of meatie goodness, but that isn't what Humpsweet references, not at all, not that you care, because anytime your hear the name Humpsweet, you think of meat, you think of Ronnie, and you can smell what your mingled sweat smelled like in thin bubbles laced all through the strands of her unshaved armpits.  Heaven, Mr. Oops.  It smelled like Heaven.  You lived there for all of six weeks, once, a very, very long time ago.